at what point does the “confusion” become “stupidity”, or, why do the media and others persist in pretending to not know what Occupy Wall Street wants? (by the blobfish)

is google broken?  because almost all we get from blogs, articles, and commentary by those outside the occupy wall street movement, besides a lot of uncalled for bitching about guy fawkes masks, is “what does it mean?” and “what do they want?” and “you need to make a list of points or something so we can understand you” and “your goals are too vague to grasp”.

really?  this is difficult for you?  let me help.  I am the blobfish.  I have no muscles, yet somehow I effortlessly navigate the wide oceans of the google sea.  without any effort whatsoever, because I am not capable of exerting effort, for I am a blobfish, I located the following for you, poor human persons. 

1. CONGRESS PASS HR 1489 (“RETURN TO PRUDENT BANKING ACT” http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h112-1489 ). THIS REINSTATES MANY PROVISIONS OF THE GLASS-STEAGALL ACT. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glass–Steagall_Act

2. USE CONGRESSIONAL AUTHORITY AND OVERSIGHT TO ENSURE APPROPRIATE FEDERAL AGENCIES FULLY INVESTIGATE AND PROSECUTE THE WALL STREET CRIMINALS who clearly broke the law and helped cause the 2008 financial crisis.

3. CONGRESS ENACT LEGISLATION TO PROTECT OUR DEMOCRACY BY REVERSING THE EFFECTS OF THE CITIZENS UNITED SUPREME COURT DECISION which essentially said corporations can spend as much as they want on elections. The result is that corporations can pretty much buy elections. Corporations should be highly limited in ability to contribute to political campaigns no matter what the election and no matter what the form of media. This legislation should also RE-ESTABLISH THE PUBLIC AIRWAVES IN THE U.S. SO THAT POLITICAL CANDIDATES ARE GIVEN EQUAL TIME FOR FREE AT REASONABLE INTERVALS IN DAILY PROGRAMMING DURING CAMPAIGN SEASON. The same should extend to other media.

4. CONGRESS PASS THE BUFFETT RULE ON FAIR TAXATION SO THE RICH AND CORPORATIONS PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE & CLOSE CORPORATE TAX LOOP HOLES AND ENACT A PROHIBITION ON HIDING FUNDS OFF SHORE. No more GE paying zero or negative taxes. Pass the Buffet Rule on fair taxation so the rich pay their fair share. (If we have a really had a good negotiating position and have the place surrounded, we could actually dial up taxes on millionaires, billionaires and corporations even higher…back to what they once were in the 50’s and 60’s. )

5. CONGRESS COMPLETELY REVAMP THE SECURITIES AND EXCHANGE COMMISSION and staff it at all levels with proven professionals who get the job done protecting the integrity of the marketplace so citizens and investors are both protected. This agency needs a large staff and needs to be well-funded. It’s currently has a joke of a budget and is run by Wall St. insiders who often leave for high ticket cushy jobs with the corporations they were just regulating. Hmmm.

6. CONGRESS PASS SPECIFIC AND EFFECTIVE LAWS LIMITING THE INFLUENCE OF LOBBYISTS AND ELIMINATING THE PRACTICE OF LOBBYISTS WRITING LEGISLATION THAT ENDS UP ON THE FLOOR OF CONGRESS.

7. CONGRESS PASSING “Revolving Door Legislation” LEGISLATION ELIMINATING THE ABILITY OF FORMER GOVERNMENT REGULATORS GOING TO WORK FOR CORPORATIONS THAT THEY ONCE REGULATED. So, you don’t get to work at the FDA for five years playing softball with Pfizer and then go to work for Pfizer making $195,000 a year. While they’re at it, Congress should pass specific and effective laws to enforce strict judicial standards of conduct in matters concerning conflicts of interest. So long as judges are culled from the ranks of corporate attorneys the 1% will retain control.

8. ELIMINATE “PERSONHOOD” LEGAL STATUS FOR CORPORATIONS. The film “The Corporation” has a great section on how corporations won “personhood status”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SuUzmqBewg . Fast-forward to 2:20. It’ll blow your mind.

but how on earth did I find this?  let me help you out there too.  I utilized “google”, a thing so prevalent amongst you human persons it has achieved the status of noun, verb, and concept, in addition to being a gigantic corporation who does not pay its U.S. taxes and moves its money offshore.  I went to the google, and typed in “occupy wall street”, and their website shows up.  oh, wait, here, I’ll make it EVEN EASIER FOR YOU.  I will provide a LINK, right here, even though I am a blobfish, and all I do is bob about the internet ocean, scooping up all available information as it floats towards me.  yes, even so, I will still provide you with a link, which means you will not even have to exert yourselves by going to google.  indeed, the journey to google is hard and arduous.  it is, what, a click of a mouse or something like that?  too difficult.  let a muscle-less, gelatinous blob of a fish assist you.  oh no, it’s no trouble.

http://occupywallst.org/forum/first-official-release-from-occupy-wall-street/

furthermore, why are you so upset about the guy fawkes masks?  why does that upset you so?  I myself am far more disturbing a sight.  if I ever go to one of these protests I will most definitely procure a guy fawkes mask, so as to disturb you in a much more superficial way than my reality would produce in you.  no, we know what upsets you about the masks.  it is because of the great futuristic documentary, “V for Vendetta”— not because any of you know anything about the gunpowder plot, or what became of guy fawkes, for that matter.  no, you are upset because that movie, that cartoony, dark movie, meant something powerful and profound and revolutionary.  and that is scary and upsetting, though, again, not nearly so frightening as my own true visage.

also, all of us have noticed a trend towards trying to persuade the occupiers of wall street to occupying other places, trying to claim that wall street is not the problem, “washington” is.  again, may I cite another fabulous documentary (you human persons should really go to the movies every once in awhile), the one called “chinatown”.  put simply, if you want to know where the problem is, the “whodunit”, you have to follow the money.  and wall street is the symbolic place of power when it comes to money in america, and throughout the world.  we all know this.  even we fish know this to be true.  if you want to fix government, you have to fix what runs the government, and in america’s case, it’s the money, honey.

distractions like these aside, I am mightily astounded that a species that is supposedly as evolved as humans is so easily confused by such obvious things.  much as I was amused that the “tea party” and their proponents are so upset at the OWS movement for supposedly threatening private property and the rich, when the “tea party” is named after an action wherein a bunch of armed human persons forcibly boarded a privately owned ship in boston harbor and tossed privately owned, expensive goods into the sea (thank you, by the way, it was delicious).  oh, but bust a window out of a starbuck’s in seattle, and now it is the apocalypse!

so, to sum up.  google.  guy fawkes.  chinatown.  tea or coffee.  yes.  I think that’s quite clear enough.  you aren’t fooling anyone, human persons.  except maybe yourselves.

occupy everywhere.  I know I do, but then I have few options, being a blobfish and all.

sincerely

the blobfish